Day 3 of 2011...getting deep.....

So i'm sitting here and its January 3rd 2011 and i'm bored out of my mind, so i decided to blog. Im listening to Kelly Clarkson's song, If noone will listen......Its a very good moving song if you haven't heard it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dNDCu3eK_8&feature=related ... I think people often wonder why i play so many sad/love songs...what people dont understand and i have never cared to explain to to anyone is i dont relate all love/heartbreak songs to relationships, they can mean so much more! A song that says "you made me stronger, you made me cry, you made me cautious" songs like a girl whose gone through a break up but what if i relate that to me and my mom or me and my aunt....Its not oh look at her supposedly happy and married carrying on about her ex's...no not at all, take a minute and ask me why i like that song and you would see there is a deeper meaning. To be blunt, and i apologize for language, Ive been through a LOT of shit in my life and im only 25. I keep it all held in and I try to keep up these walls and not let anyone in ... ive seen counselors and ive seen therapists, they dont help me...like what i really need is someone i dont know prying into my deepest darkest secrets? I THINK NOT! This is where it would benefit to have more girlfriends, it seems when i am down i have no one to turn to and no shoulder to cry on except my husband. Now dont get me wrong i love him and the fact that hes here for me, but somethings i dont wanna go to him about.  Maybe i just need to sit down and have a cry session..let it all out see if i feel better. I just need someone to talk to and not be judges and not be criticized and let me say what i need to say and tell me it will be ok! Well im signing off, im sleepy, so goodnight all and i will write more later....